The Prodigal Returns

     It's been several months since I've written in my blog, I hope some of you are still checking in once in a while to see if I would re-appear.  I need to start off with a confession, I stopped writing because I have been lost in a world of sin.  I hardly ever make it to church, I have been staying high on meth, and I've completely made a mockery of my faith.  This is not the first time I've fell (backslid) depending on your upbringing, but it is definitely the most public.  The more I tried to do right, the harder it became.  I was witnessing to people from my old crowd and really believed I was making progress, some of them were even going to church with me.  They were the ones I ended up getting high with.  That's crazy, huh?
     Not long ago I installed an app on my phone called YouVerse.  It's possibly the best free Bible Program available more Iphone & Android.  I highly suggest it!  Anyway I signed up for a daily reading program.  Since beginning this program, I've watched the Holy Spirit begin a wonderful new work in my life.  I have slowed down on my drug use, and I am beginning to hate being around the sin I've surrounded myself with.  It just doesn't appeal to me anymore.
     At the start of my downward spiral, the end of last April, I violated the conditions of my parole.  It's highly possible that I may have to go back to prison for a while.  If so, I know the Lord will see me through, however it's also very possible that I may not have to go.  I have faith enough to believe that we serve a big God, much bigger than the Oklahoma Dept. of Corrections.  Please pray that God's will be done in my circumstances, thank you.
     The worst part of this whole ordeal, was the fear.  First I was afraid of giving a dirty urine sample to my parole officer, but it didn't stop me from using.  Then I was afraid the pastoral staff at church would find out and rightfully remove me from heading the Friday night men's Bible study, but even that didn't stop me from using.  I was afraid my boss would find out and fire me,  I still didn't stop.  The hardest thing I had to face was that I was afraid to go to church.  I was afraid because there are police officers, district attys, and ex felons which are members.  I feared being arrested at church so I stopped going.  I turned my back on my friends and basically became a hermit.  I couldn't go to work for fear of  being arrested so I quit my job.  It all started turning around when I posted the question of rather or not I should turn myself in on facebook.  You can imagine some of the responses I got, but one stood out above all the rest.  A Pastor friend of mine from Lifechurch asked me which one would take more faith, to run or to surrender.  Awesome point to Ponder!  Thanks Trevor.  I've not turned myself in yet, but I'm no longer afraid.  Check this out;

Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety.

Proverbs 29:25 NLT

     Fearing people can hamper everything you try to do.  In extreme forms, it can make you afraid to leave your home.  By contrast, fear of God-respect, reverence, and trust-is liberating.  Why fear people who can do no eternal harm?  Instead, fear God who can turn the harm intended by others into good for those who trust him.

     Are you living in fear?  Relapsed in your addiction?  Knowing there is something missing in your life but not really knowing what it is?  The Bible says what you're going through is common, you're not the only one that's faced your set of circumstances and you don't have to go through them alone.  Call out to Jesus!  If you need someone to talk to contact frontline church using the link in this page.  Or you can contact me at rlwhitener@gmail.com.  I will pray with you, talk with you, and help you anyway I can.
     God bless, andthanks for following along.